A conversation I didn’t expect
I spent a few days away with my children.
Time to rest, to laugh — and inevitably, time for deeper conversations.
One of those conversations was about racism, and more broadly about intolerance toward minorities.
What surprised me most was how present it still is in their young world.
Even my youngest, Mathias, shared stories — about adults he knows who “don’t like rainbow people.”
It left me feeling deeply discouraged.
This is not the world I wish for them.
Nor the one I wish to contribute to.
When curiosity stops working
I genuinely believe curiosity is essential.
Resistance — when we feel triggered by someone else’s words or attitudes — often points to something worth learning. About the other. About ourselves.
And usually, I can stay there.
But when it comes to racism, something in me freezes.
Connection becomes almost impossible.
Fear… or superiority?
I try to tell myself that behind humiliating or demeaning remarks, there is often fear.
Fear of what is different.
Fear of what challenges your worldview.
Fear of what you do not yet understand.
And yet — I sometimes wonder if that explanation is too generous.
A way of making the unacceptable somehow bearable.
Because there are moments when it is hard to deny that racist or exclusionary statements stem not from fear, but from a sense of superiority.
From placing oneself above another human being.
And that is where my curiosity fails.
My allergy to black-and-white conversations
Over time, I have developed an allergy to conversations framed in black and white.
Conversations where “facts” are juggled to place people neatly into predetermined boxes.
Facts that may even be correct.
Facts that immediately shut down debate and dialogue.
But then I wonder — was dialogue ever the goal?
Too often, it seems the aim is to reduce a person, a group, or an entire population to a single story.
A shortcut.
A form of convenience.
A way of not having to truly look at the individual — hiding instead behind cheap one-liners.
And that is where it deeply clashes with who I am.
Seeing who, not what
Because the moment we stop seeing who someone is
and only talk about what they represent,
we lose something essential.
None of us wants to be reduced to a stock character
in a rigid, already-written narrative.
Each of us has a role of our own to play —
and precisely because of that, we can co-create the story.
Or rewrite it.
But that requires something fundamental:
that we keep seeing each other.
As humans.
As individuals.
Beyond labels.
And certainly beyond roles we may already have assigned to one another.
My quiet wish
I have many wishes for the coming year.
But one stands out:
less polarization, less against,
and far more with.
More nuance.
More togetherness.
More humanity.
Or, to stay with the metaphor —
not black or white,
but at least fifty shades of grey,
created by daring to mix them.
That, to me, is love in action.
Love,
Maaike
About Love in Action
I love to create happiness by connecting people in my personal and professional life. So I am a mediator.
I also love words—because they connect too.
So I write loveposts and blogposts filled with heartfelt wishes, sprinkled with a touch of music.
My mission?
Simple: spread love.
To inspire growth, kindness, and living with your eyes, mind, and heart wide open.
I dream of making the world a little warmer.
Love in Action — that’s what I believe in.
Will you join me? 🤍
Have a love note for me?
Always welcome: contact@maaikegoyens.be
Love in action 
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