The Echoes That Sit at the Table
I heard Lori Gottlieb say this line, and immediately thought: yes, this is true.
She was referring to how a conversation between two people can suddenly feel crowded—
as if parents, grandparents, siblings, and old versions of ourselves
have all pulled up a chair.
Shadows from the past, showing up uninvited.
And that’s why it’s so valuable to notice when this happens—
so you can gently quiet those old voices
and make sure you, here and now, are the one speaking.
Not the echoes of the past.
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When Messages Carry More Than Words
Recognizable?
For me, absolutely.
Personally, and in my work as a mediator.
One person says something.
The other doesn’t just hear the message—
they hear the weight behind it.
As if an attack has been launched without weapons.
Instinctively, a counterattack or defense is activated
before the real core of the conversation has any chance of being touched.
A dance begins—
attack and defense, sharp and intense at times.
And yet the heart of the matter,
the part that truly needs attention,
falls out of sight.
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The Responsibility We Hold
That is why Gottlieb’s quote struck me so deeply.
It points to our own responsibility—
in dialogue, and especially in conflict.
When we react hysterically (or in any emotional over- or underreaction),
there is a good chance the origin is historical.
Something in our backpack gets triggered.
Something old invites us to respond
as if we were back in an earlier scene—
or behave younger than we actually are today.
Becoming aware of that is powerful.
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Not Everything That Feels “Now” Belongs to Now
Not every stimulus arriving today
actually belongs to today.
Sometimes it is wise to pause the scene we’re in,
take a breath,
and choose the voice that aligns with who we are—
now, and truly.
Not the version of ourselves in alarm phase ten.
Not the version shaped by old stories or outdated survival strategies.
Because that version mostly fills backpacks—
ours, and the other person’s.
And that is how we keep writing history
that continues to repeat itself,
while we might be longing to break the cycle.
Love❣️,
Maaike
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About Love in Action
I love to create happiness by connecting people in my personal and professional life. So I am a mediator.
I also love words—because they connect too.
So I write loveposts and blogposts filled with heartfelt wishes, sprinkled with a touch of music.
My mission?
Simple: spread love.
To inspire growth, kindness, and living with your eyes, mind, and heart wide open.
I dream of making the world a little warmer.
Love in Action — that’s what I believe in.
Will you join me? 🤍
Have a love note for me?
Always welcome: contact@maaikegoyens.be
Love in action 
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